That's intense
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
