Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
