I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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