i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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