OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
