sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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