I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
