guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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