just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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