dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
