Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never too late to be topless.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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