Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
