One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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