ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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