She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Randomize
