My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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