Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
