Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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