So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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