As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
