He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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