uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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