Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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