trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
