We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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