its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
