so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
