ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
