I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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