the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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