i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
