i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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