gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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