Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
