im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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