I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
