I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize