u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
