I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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