Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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