i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
