At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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