i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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