Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
we're so committed to being not committed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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