honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
