didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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