is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
how does that bad decision feel?
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