I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
