There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wear drunk well.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
