So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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