Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
