Me. At least after what I've been through.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize