$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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