Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
