People in love make me want to vomit
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
