I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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