I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
