He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
